Failure makes me work even harder.

AM- 3 easy.  Felt good.

PM- was really tired from no food and little water...I felt like crap.  I really felt that my negativity from a bad day translated mentally for me...I just felt like I couldn't push myself.  But hey, bad workouts happen.  I am just going to shake it off...not worry about it.  I can't control what I've done just what I do and will do.

AM- 3 miles easy.

PM- RACE. Well we warmed up for 3 miles to AC and back.  We then started the race soon after.  Basically it was the same as all the races this year...I ran decent, but I ran at like 70% of effort.  I just basically coast in.  I looked at my times and I ran the same time as my sophmore year!!! that's ridiculous....I am not going to just "not worry about it"...I tried that and it hasn't worked.  I keep trying these tricks and I am still flatlining in performance!!  So, after this frustrating event, I went home and talked to my mom...we agreed that the reason I'm not is that I am afraid that I will die and let myself and my team down.  So, in order to stop this we decided I'm going to find out my absolute all out or as she put it my "95%"!  Afterall aren't the races before state to figure out how to race our best?!  And my mom said if I legitly collapse after the finish line that she will pay me....which is a plus haha.  I don't think it's necessarily telling myself that I did well when I know I didn't...it's taking the mentality to do better in specific ways instead of being down on yourself!

AM- 3 easy.  I woke up late so I ran by myself. 

PM- 7 w/ striders.  Nice easy roller-coaster run.  We had to make a new trail to it because they put up these barriers saying no trustpassing!!! Anyways, I felt really good.  The striders I felt I was really good.  Weights and plyos...okay we need to get more people doing these!!! Some have legitimate excuses for the plyos but the weights are not optional!!! If you want to improve there is not doubt these help!!  Anyways, a good day of running.

AM- 3 easy to AC.  I feel a little bit of pain on the outside of my leg by my calf but it's just fatigue I'm guessing.

PM- Traditional sandberg run before race with 4x200m to get the legs going!  It was a good, easy pace and I pushed it on the 200m, but it seemed mike and able were racing eachother every single one! haha

AM- 3 easy. AC run as usual.  I felt pretty good

12 o'clock.- Ran on the State course just an easy run.  I felt good and ready to roll!

PM- RACE!  I didn't really know what to expect going into the race, because we weren't able to see the course, because other races were going on, so I was completely oblivious to the beastly course and the MOTHA CUSA!!!  Anyway, I started out decent...that will probably be the one thing to improve next time.  So, I was behind brigham and ashby at the beginning, because they seemed to start fast!  Coach Holt told me to not be affraid to pass them so I just responded and passed them and tried to catch the other group.  It seemed that I would catch people on the uphill and flat parts, but then the downhill I was pretty bad and I was pretty much slapping my feet and breaking, but now I know how to run the downhills better!  Byron was right behind me the whole time (until the end).  About 2 miles into it I told byron "let's go byron!!" as he came up to me and we motha cusa'd that hill!  I was doing well and then Byron passed me which I had to late of a response to that and should have gone with him!  Anyway, I think I did pretty well.  It was positive improvement and we beat d-hells!!!  I think Byron and I can push harder at Nebo and catch and pass the next group ahead of us!!!

So, we were suppose to run together, but no one texted me like they said and it was nice temps outside so I ran around 10 AM and ran out to the bridge then went on the misquito trail and then onto the river trail and turned around at 5 miles.  I felt really good and positive today.  The temperature was perfect and I felt I had good form the whole time.  I ran most of my miles at an easy 7:30-8 min pace.  Then, we were suppose to do 1 mile hard so I nailed it and ran a 5:57 last mile which felt good considering I hadn't ate or drank anything to that point in the day!  I told myself something today that I am going to use for my second moto, other than "95% effort", and, well it's not really a moto as a way of thinking about workouts and races.  It's that I might as well go for and really go crazy and give my best effort right then rather than hold back and always keep myself wondering "what if I had stayed with them?" or "what if I had tried to catch them?" or "what if I gave more there?", because that's what I've done...I've been afraid to fail when failure is just an opprotunity to learn...plus I make my fears a reality by not running with everything you have for that day which is the closest to failure you can get in my opinion!  Well, today was a good run and I hope to keep it rolling like this for a while!